wanted to try something new with the posting, and the 2 photos looked so paired up, i couldn't resist. well, i guess i'm a bit rusty, but i'll get it back. there's something about the images that remind me of a mirror, has that certain sense of duality to it. i can't explain why this appeals to me so much.

while it's not anything special, i do realize i haven't been doing anything for the past couple months or so. this is the best i can do, for some sort of need to do a tribute to autumn while the leaves are still there. the thought of being able to start taking courses after the ged excites me, but at the same time i'm just scared shitless. oh, and if you still check back, thanks to e. r. dunhill for the encouragement. it means a lot =) at least instead of sulking over whether i could do something and just sitting on my ass, i've realized i need to take action and stop complaining. too many things can happen while i stay idle. wow, do i sound like i'm afraid to grow old? ok this is weird.

well then, on another note, i'm afraid the shots i've been taking lately look horrible. any one of them. i think the gloomy sky might have something to contribute to that, but i'm just not good enough to be able to take a good pic even under bad lighting, and with my crappy point & shoot, it's not even worth a try, really. the scene in the pic above was breathtaking, because it had just rained (i love how the sidewalks are always scattered in yellow after rain) and the red of the bricks and the red car in contrast to the yellow... it was like a painting. too bad i screwed it up -__-;; i need to start learning how to use a dslr. maybe i'll be better at this photography gig.

i pray that classes will do me some good. maybe that could be my goal.

learned to airbrush properly; now everyone can enjoy the kind of digital flawless skin that doesn't really exist =) finally decided to post again, due to having nothing to post for the past month or so, plus the fact that no matter how many times we decide to replace the router, it still doesn't work. went to jess's new apartment yesterday and gave everyone makeovers, then had some photo fun. photos are fun. editing photos can be a bitch =T but the result is interesting. skin tones are fun to tamper with too. note: why do i have a tendency to not look at the camera when taking pics? it's like i subconsciously expect a flash and avert my eyes ahead of time.

blah, rage is an unpleasant feeling.

wow the gloomy tree one barely came out on my other computer. must have something to do with something to do with monitor brightness or something.

a grey world.

here's the edited colorless trees shot. huge difference in mood.


the duck one in black and white. i'm not sure if i like it better. i dislike both, but i guess this suits my current mood a little better.


some more B&W of the trees overlooking the river...


the pollution pic looking a lot different. how's that for happy?


this pic sort of conveys my mood right now. i didn't post this one before, since the sunset behind it didn't come out at all. but when something's black and white, whether or not those come out doesn't really matter...


the gloomy pic in B&W. i'm not sure whether or not this is gloomier, without color. it's funny that things seem so much more depressing without color.


this doesn't seem so bad. in fact it sort of looks more like hope than despair. maybe like... the end of a bad journey, and coming to a clearing, and seeing something refreshing. i'm listening to pink's "who knew", it could be adding to the sort of gloomy mood. but after posting all those pics and looking back on them, i realized how unstable i was. i thought photography could be something i could go into, but now i feel so... talentless. too many what-ifs. what if the only good shots i took were all luck shots? anyone can take pictures. anyone can take a good picture given good lighting and a good subject. flipping through a photography textbook makes me feel like a fool. i can compare this feeling to that of investing in something unworthwhile. something similar to bankruptcy maybe? i wouldn't know, i haven't had the chance to be bankrupt yet. i just think it would be somewhat similar, the feeling of having nothing or being nothing.

anyway, i've been meaning to get my GED this summer. i guess that's reason enough for me to doubt myself. i barely remember basic algebra. shoot, if i didn't speak every day i might be unable to right now. i know i'm fairly smart, i'm just not a genius. and things pass by so quickly, i've barely had a chance to see them before they're just.. gone. i used to have a way with words too... and now i can barely form decent sentences. reading my old essays makes me think, who the heck wrote this? i used to be able to write like this? looking at my old sketchbook just makes me wonder where all that talent went. it's like childhood was the ripe season of my life. if i think about it from that point of view, it almost feels like photography is the cheap way out, since i can't sketch anymore. all i need instead is a mechanism that creates the images for me. and when i see some of these shots, it feels like i can't even do that right.

isn't it funny? i ended this post with the image that i started the last one with. maybe life is like that too. everything's ironic when you're down, i guess. i'll end this post now before i sound like the drama queen that i am. and i'm changing the profile pic temporarily to suit my mood. that one pisses me off.

2nd charles viewing.

this reminds me of one of those things that you catch out of the corner of your eye. in any case, the foliage nearby frames it nicely.


the sunset from a child's view? i can't make anything else of it. the fence made a nice foreground =)


the colors here look so soft this looks like it popped out of a dream. the buildings for some reason make it look somewhat exotic.


someone sailing at sunset. i think these people actually noticed me taking a picture of them too, and kept staring at me while they passed by. but this took place before they did that, which makes for a pretty nice shot.


hmm.. the horizon. nice buildings.


more dusky colors. cute little boat in there.


this is the john hancock building with a naked maple for foreground. it really reminded me of a flower show i saw at the expo when i was... iono... 8? 9? anyway i thought it looked cool the way the color of the sky sort of descends down on it.


this looked surprisingly gloomy. the setting was actually nice and breezy, yes it was somewhat cloudy, but it was a nice spot to sit for a read. having it come out this dark was a bit of an extra bonus, i think it sort of adds mood to it.


don't know if this is even worth posting, but i have it anyway and i'm BORED T__T the colors in this look so dead. it just looks... so dead. gah i hate this pic. maybe i'll post a B&W one later.


a glimpse through the leaves =)


i love this one, just for the sole fact that you can see a couple standing there at the dock admiring the sunset, and then a pair of ducks swimming toward them. it's so cute.


okay, the couple's still there, the mood isn't as perfect though. but the leaves do shadow nicely, it makes for a somewhat even balance.


ummm.. a huge cigarette?


a squirrel =) this was the following day outside my house btw, not at the charles.


overall, that was my 2nd visit to the charles with jenny, and boy was i beat. we biked to the end of cambridge and the freakin bike seat was too high for me, i had to bend over irregularly to reach the handles. what's worse is that the brakes don't work that well, so around pedestrians i'd have to take extra care to go at a decent speed so i can stop in time, just in case. and then you have those assholes who see you coming on a narrow sidewalk and they just don't give a damn and would rather get hit than move. plus i did end up falling and scraping myself a little. i happened to almost fall on a little girl in a carriage, but the little girl is safe. that would have been traumatic. i have two bruises the size of fists though. and i had to guard my bike most of the time so taking pics was pretty limited, or i can only take pics of certain surroundings close to the bike. luckily, i got about 10 min of my own exploring time when i asked jen to watch the bike for a bit, but... that's about it. everything came out with the same set of colors since i took them all at the same time, but mostly, that bike pisses me off. well hey, at least i have some mediocre pics?

personal record!

record of the day! i've been obsessively hooked on minesweeper for the past couple of hours, with nothing else better to do, since the comp is now reformatted and hopefully working again. maybe it's just me, but minesweeper seems oddly similar to sudoku, except that it relies more on luck... i guess i just have nothing else better to do and thought that i should shove that post of the onigiri out of the way. but come to think of it posting a screencap of a game of minesweeper is even weirder. but while on the subject, i found it pretty weird that in the 3 games that i've beat so far, 2 out of 3 has a score of 164. the remaining one was in the 160s too, but it seems there's no way i can physically click any faster than that.

i'm dead

the beginning of a tiresome journey...


crosswalk, red lights and a four way street.


shadows at around noon =)


all the boats docked nearby, without sails...


a duck!


sailboats under a willow tree =)


setting sail!


cute little bridge with lego-like buildings in the distance.


someone's ivy hanging from a tray in the north end. my legs were getting numb by then.


getting back near the city with the tall buildings! there's the extremely reflective glass building in the back that's shaped sort of like a ps2... and the subtle reflection of the clouds in the windows at the left =)


here i am taking a pic of this necklace i liked through the window of a jewelry store. the clerk is busy helping a customer so i don't look too suspicious....


the beautiful statues outside of the borders store...

so that concludes my insane walking day with jenny. i'm sure we probably covered 5 miles at least, to and from for me. walked from my house to arlington to the charles, then crossing the bridge at the very end of the right side, then heading to where beacon hill was where all the rich people lived... i believe it's somewhere near north end, because they had italian flags hanging around shops. it felt almost like harry-potterville how everything was made of brick and it was so lively. all the shops had its own mom&pop shop feel to it. everything feels a hundred years old. so anyway, from there we went to the state house, sat for a while because my stomach was upset. then we set out again, but back into downtown when jenny wanted to go back and go to faneuil hall T__T... we went to borders after sitting down to a street performance. she eventually called and met up with kerby, and they went on to faneuil hall while i half-limped my way home. it is now 2 days after, and i am still sore. i spent all of yesterday sleeping... precisely 22 hours, with about an hour of break in between... i think by now i've figured out that i'm extremely horrible with any type of workout, and will never attempt that kind of distance again. that should about conclude my nice stroll around boston.

a goofier post...

jenny's back walking. the tree branch hanging down towards the fence reminded me of the story of narcissus...


a cool mysterious guy standing somewhere in the north end. you can tell he's a good guy just by the way he's posing.


creepy entrance. it looked darker than this in real life. you can walk down there into a donut shop.


a statue outside of the state house, i think? i felt no need to emphasize it, but if you look closer the name inscribed under the statue says "HOOKER". i attracted the attention of everyone sitting there when i screamed "hey that says hooker!", along with a couple of dirty looks.


my new phone strap that i bought for my ipod! it's supposed to symbolize mike, like when his eyes are glued to the tv when the game is on and i become invisible altogether. i find it amusing that it has a baseball for a head and no face xD


and this is just this morning when i was being taken home (to a place with internet) and dawn was being reflected off the police headquarters building. i'll bet i looked pretty suspicious whipping out a camera and everything. but it's pretty.

BOREDOMMMM...

first of all is this adorable decoration (what do you call it?) that me and mike bought at star music in chinatown (bleh $8 what a ripoff) but i get all fuzzy and warm inside when i look at it =) it is currently hanging on his rearview mirror, which is surprising. i thought this type of thing would be too "feminine" for him to agree to put it on his car, but he says it reminds him of us =^o^=


mike's nice little surprise dinner for me =) some of them tasted a little funny but i think that's the salmon's fault. complete with nigiri and an onigiri ^^;;


random pic i forgot i'd taken, but it looks sorta pretty. reminds me of those fruit that look like stars when you cut em up?


and my new onigiri/sushi guy strap! soo adorable x] the little strip of seaweed is his sushi chef hat! i am pretty bored, so that's all i have to post, while i have an internet connection. i'm also resisting the urge to sleep...

An Overdue Post on the BEACH.

wahh, long time to post, but the only thing post-worthy seems to be the pic of the fire truck on our way to the beach on 7/26.. my internet connection died, then computer died from the heat. nice one, dell. anyway, this was an accident that happened while we were on our way to the beach, and it was really fucked up that i took a pic anyway, but i was in my "oh my gosh the cop isn't looking!" and take-a-pic-of-everything mood. that's right, i'm bad! >=O but iono, after really looking at it it looks sorta cool, with the big bridge behind and everything. ~__~ a pic is a pic, i cannot resist the pretty.


i cannot seem to find any pics of people in here, and if there are someone's always cut out, so i'll just post this nice angle shot of jess. i believe a wave should be on its way to hitting her, and i love how the horizon is all slanted behind her, and how the waves extending all the way down gives this nice perspective.


and here's little christian, taken by jess. whose idea was the umbrella again? it makes for a nice light filter, makes the lighting in this pic seem so much warmer. he looks adorable with those little mittens, haha. oh the beauty of children =)


a picture of the sun at high noon, with nice holy clouds surrounding. jess noticed it, pointed it out, and everyone (well, me and melissa) whipped out our cameras! although there's no background or foreground, the clouds make it look pretty dramatic as is, huh?