i can't take this. i can't take this fear. this is fucking bullshit. this post is gonna be fucking stupid cuz i know i'm not gonna make any sense, but to think that most guys are like that is disgusting. how can i be so oblivious?? they were talking about raping me amongst themselves. they were suggesting for one of the guys to get me drunk and just "bag" me. alright, i can take people looking me up and down; it makes me uncomfortable, but i can take that. you don't fucking talk about RAPE. that dude ramone knows i have a fucking boyfriend. jesus christ, people are fucking disgusting.
that doesn't make john (the guy who told me what was going on behind my back) any better. he basically just strung me along to impress this other girl he's trying to get in the pants of. i'd only thought he was only trying to be friendly and wanted my company, but apparently not. everyone has ulterior motives. it's either get in that girl's pants or using her to get in another girl's pants. i am so sickened i want to throw up. i want to go back to court st and take a pair of scissors off the shelf and cut off all their dicks. i'll bet they won't have anything left to think with after that's gone. i just can't believe it.
this is so fucking ridiculous. i get scheduled up at the front desk where i'm not even trained to be, and then to add onto that i get scheduled with all guys. i know they're probably just saying disgusting things to try to show off to each other, and they probably don't mean it, but i'm so fucking disgusted i don't know what to say. i called chris and said forget it, i'm not working for you the week of july 4th, find someone else. i just absolutely can't go back there after they pull off this shit. what the hell do they think i am?
if i kept typing i know i'll just repeat all this junk over and over. i just can't get over it. i wanna kill somebody. chris got all pissed that i called out on her and didn't even bother to answer her phone afterwards. i want to cry. this is the way things fucking are, and i'm just oblivious and naive and stupid. is this the way people were at staples all along? is this the way things are in brighton too? is kindness only a cover for disgusting motives like theirs? i can't type anymore.
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Geez Kit, I'll come down there and hold them down for you while you do the castration. I'm not one for blood and gore, but it is fully justified in this case.
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